My Daughter Changed Me
We have a few goals here – the first is to leave our corporate jobs and show you a path to that goal as well. The second is more complicated but more important: to be the best parents that we can be. That part we’re still figuring out.
My daughter came into this world on March 22, 2015 – a wailing bundle of energy from the start. I looked into her little eyes, touched her tiny hands, and knew from that day forward that I was profoundly and permanently changed. I never knew I wanted a daughter. But when I saw her, my old life, my old desires, melted away. In the place of the pursuit of money, status, and stuff something new crystallized: a desire to change this world, to build something better than what we have. And a desire to forge her the armor she’ll need to carry that mantle forward.
So here’s what we’re trying to teach our daughter about this little world of ours.
#1 Time is precious. She’s 18 months old now. That means we have 858 weekends before she turns 18, 17 holiday seasons, maybe 34 family vacations if we’re lucky. It will go by fast. It’s daunting when we think of how much we have to teach her in that window. We hope that we are up to the task, but we need to do whatever it takes to expand that time we have with her.
#2 – We live in a beautiful world full of miracles. Despite the problems that seem to assail us from all sides, the world is getting better. The arc of history is long and it does bend toward justice. Disease and poverty are receding, quality of life is increasing, war is a fading memory in many places. The world is getting better and will continue to do so! We need to teach our daughter this truth because optimism is a powerful force. Believing that the world can be a better place enables us to make it so. it drives us on in the face of difficulty and setback and enables us to forge ahead despite the obstacles in our paths.
#3 The world needs to be better and we need to make it better. All those leaps forward – every scrap of human freedom, decency, and honor did not come through hope and optimism. They came from countless sacrifices of blood and sweat. Soldiers who stormed beaches, women who marched for rights, and great men who challenged us to be better. Men and women who changed the face of the world. These tasks are not easy, and few can aspire to those lofty peaks, but we can focus our lives in that direction and climb as high as possible. We need to show our daughter that we can, piece by small piece, make the world a better place. Being parents means more than preparing her for the world. Being parents means expending every scrap of energy and skill that we have to prepare the world for her.
#4 We need to be both brave and wise to make those changes. Many challenges will meet her as she grows, and we need to teach her to overcome them. To have confidence, to be brave, to befriend dragons, to fight tyranny, to love. We will teach her what we can, give her the wisdom we have collected, and hope that she can find the same wisdom earlier in her journey.
#5 We need to laugh. The world is a funny place sometimes. We can be dour all we want, but sometimes you need to laugh. To put a blanket over your head and run around in circles until you’re so dizzy you fall over. To get tickled until you can hardly breathe. The roll down a grassy hill as fast as you can. To run through sprinklers on hot July day. Laughter, joy, a little silliness is what makes all the rest of it so worthwhile.
Our call to action
Be the best goddamn parents you can be. Teach your children. Give them the gift of your time, your knowledge, your laughter. Show them the magic in the world and show them how to defeat the monsters hiding under the bed. No possession, no job, no amount of prestige is worth sacrificing that. We’ll try to set an example.
Very inspiring post Mr.and Mrs. Grizzly. That time seems super short when you put it in the units you describe.
Looking forward to reading more. Always like learning from a fellow lawyer.
I so admire your goals. You are already great parents since you are putting your daughter first before prestige and material things.
Really have enjoyed your blog! We had our daughter in August 2014 and she has changed so many aspects of our life, but the main thing is my view on how I value my time. My goal now is to maximize time with her and to have the financial freedom to do so! Thanks for sharing your journey!
It was a huge change. We attribute about 95% of our desire to change our lives to the birth of daughter. Before it was always an itch in the back our heads. But with her it became a necessity. We were missing so much by not being there every day.